It’s official – my mind has entered summertime mode.

So yes, I plan on taking it easy-ish this summer – outside of a couple of weeks of scheduled vacation I am working through the summer, but I got to thinking… what else can I do to make the summer more fun in my biz?

A few things i’m going to “treat” myself with this summer:

• get my office painted. I’m not sure if any of you have ever noticed but (ahem) the wall behind me in all of my videos is only half painted. I had an office built in my basement over 3 years ago now and at the time I said “just put primer on the new wall, i’ll paint it myself”…. what was I thinking? Needless to say it’s still not painted, time to fix that.
• along those same lines, was thinking of getting an interior designer or a feng shui type person in here to spruce things up – rearrange some stuff, new pics on the walls, etc. maybe even a new desk? make my work environment super cool. hmmm…
• get new headshots. my current headshots are only 2 years old but my ‘do is totally different now. to the point where when folks meet me in person they are like “woah, that’s not your hair!”

Alright, i’ve made a public declaration now I have to do these things.

How about you? What can you do to treat your biz this summer?

There is an aspect of being in business for ourselves that can be a hard pill to swallow… especially when you are in a business that is very “personally” focused. My business is very much a part of me and who I am (which I think is true for most of us in this day and age of social media – our businesses come from who we are and are a reflection of ourselves as individuals).

When you step out into the “limelight” of your business there are people who won’t like you.

Now it may not be that they don’t like you as a person per se – it might be that they don’t like what you are offering, they may not like an article you wrote, they may not like that you did A, B or C. Regardless of what it is that they don’t like it can feel like “they don’t like me.”

I remember this being a big part of my decision a few years back when I decided to officially “step out from behind the curtain” and write my book Becoming an Online Business Manager. Up until then I had been working as an OBM, I was a behind the scenes gal who wasn’t directly out there in the spotlight. But when considering writing a book, part of what came up was “what if they don’t like the book… what if they don’t like me?!”

And yet I know, if you want to do something big or bigger in your business, this is necessary. My friend and former biz partner Andrea Lee calls this your BOP – taking a Bold, Outrageous and Provocative stand in your marketplace. Being willing to step into, talk about and represent stuff in a way that maybe others won’t like… which on the flip side is part of what makes you *really* attractive to folks as well.

Almost like you can’t have one without the other – if you want to make a really strong impact/connection, you need to also be willing to potentially turn off people in the process.

Being a people pleaser at heart, this is a toughie… if you are going to step out in any big way, you are going to have to accept and find a way to be OK with the fact that not everyone will like what you do, what you offer and who you are. Not fun imo.

How to handle this? A few things that I do when I get negative feedback or comments from people:

• My first reaction is to feel sad - I will admit it. I’m certainly not in the place where I can automatically let these things roll off my back without a second thought. Yes, I initially feel ick/sad/bad about whatever it may be. I allow myself to feel that and then I move on to…
• What is valid in this feedback? Sometimes there is something to be learned from negative feedback – something you can do differently or better in your business. I believe this is an opportunity to consider that. OR in some cases it might just be that someone doesn’t like you and/or your stuff – which you can’t really do much about (nor should you try). My gut usually comes into play here, it tells me if I need to “step up” in some area or if this is more about the other person and not me. Then I give myself permission to…
• Not take it personally. As much as it might feel like a personal criticism, or even in some cases a personal “attack,” it’s really not about you. Especially when things are overly negative or harsh – that is about the other person and whatever painful place they may be in themselves. As one of my mentors says “You can be responsible TO someone but you can’t be responsible FOR someone”… in other words, you can’t make someone like you or not, it is ultimately up to them.

How about you? What do you do when people “don’t like you?” OR how do you let your fear of people not liking you get in the way of what you want to do in your business? Oooo lala, interesting to consider…

Wow – today sucked. I will admit it. I had a pretty rough day on the working front.

This was a “loads of stuff to get done today” kind of Monday – which isn’t unusual. Top that with the fact i’m heading off to Portland tomorrow for the IVAA Conference (speaking about becoming an OBM, yay!) PLUS I had to finish up the marketing campaign for a new program we are launching.

Nothing was clicking, nothing was flowing. Try as I might I couldn’t get into any sort of flow – my brain wasn’t working, and it certainly had no creative juice at all. Every moment of the day felt like pulling teeth – but stuff had to get done so I kept on trucking. (Even the first draft of this post disappeared so I had to write it again, LOL

I’m at the place where good enough simply has to be enough this time around. As much as my inner perfectionist cringes to say that.

Here it is 9:18pm – I’ve had a few meltdowns in my journey of getting stuff done while trying to spend time with the girls and pack for tomorrow. It hasn’t been pretty and you know what? I’ve decided that i’m OK with it.

It’s time to stop, time to just go with what I’ve accomplished and let the rest go. To accept the fact that the world won’t come to an end just because the sales page for my new program isn’t 100%. That a few of the things that I didn’t get done will simply have to wait for another time. That i’ll have to work on a few things tomorrow “en route” to Portland just so I can go to bed at a decent time and get a good nights sleep.

And so off I go, tired and resigned to the fact that I’m not superwoman and I can’t do it all. Go figure.

When you are a support professional, one of the hardest things is to be able to say “no” to someone – especially to a client who needs something from you.

We had a really great discussion about this last week in one of our OBM Virtual Retreat days… a few of the gals were sharing how they have such a hard time saying “no” to clients and as a result are finding themselves stressed and overwhelmed by taking on too much at once.

As one person shared “I’m a people pleaser and I just hate to let someone down. How can I stop being a people pleaser?”

Don’t stop! I think being a “people pleaser” is actually a good thing when you are a support professional – be it an OBM, a VA or otherwise. Being driven to “please” our clients by providing good work is a wonderful gift to offer – it is part of what makes you really good at what you do (and client’s can feel that).

However, like anything that is a gift, there is also a dark side to this… and that is when you are SO driven to please others that you do so at the expense of yourself. When the thought of potentially letting someone down is so uncomfortable to you that you would rather just take it all on… leading to overwhelm, frustration and eventual burn-out… this doesn’t serve you or your clients in the long run, and I see it happen a lot.

So how to balance this drive to “please” with your own needs? In my opinion, it’s not simply about saying “no” – that could actually be destructive to your working relationships – it’s about being able to say yes on your terms. Let me explain:

Put yourself in the shoes of your client for a moment – they have hired you to help them out with specific needs. They want to feel like they can depend on you and that you’ll be able to serve those needs.

You are super swamped already, busy with a bunch of projects and your client comes to ask you for help with something. It is easy to think “just tell them no” right? Wrong. If they ask you for something, that is part of your role, and when you simply say “no” it leaves them hanging. It leaves them wondering if you are able to give them the support they need or if you are the person for the job.

Saying no to your clients too much could ultimately end a working relationship.

(Just to be clear – I’m not referring to someone asking you to do something that you aren’t able to do. If something is outside of your scope of expertise or skillset, then you don’t want to go there.)

Same scenario – your plate is full, you are already swamped and your client comes to you asking for help with yet another thing. Instead of saying “no”, how about considering how you can say “yes on your terms”? How can you say “yes” to a client without adding to your already swamped/busy schedule? How can you say “yes” and still keep your sanity?

Some ideas for you:

1. Talk to your client about shifting priorities – Given that you already have a full plate, where does this new project fit in? I think by default we assume that everything has to be done all at once, which isn’t usually the case (nor is it possible) – and yet our clients may ask for everything at once, not understanding what it actually takes to get it done. Our job is to be able to say “given everything going on, I can’t do X, Y and Z all at once – so let’s take a look at everything, shift some priorities and deadlines so that we can get it done.” You’ve then set it up so that you can say yes to everything with new and realistic deadlines.
2. Perhaps someone else on the team can help? – Even if your client is asking you for help that doesn’t mean you have to be the person to do the work. Talk to your client about the fact that your plate is already full, and if this needs to be done now, perhaps Suzy can help? (And be the one to get Suzy on board to do the work – don’t pass that back to your client.) You’ve set up a situation where you are able to say “yes” to getting the work done without adding it to your own plate – dreamy!
3. Does this have to be done at all? – Many of us will have clients who fall prey to bright, shiny object syndrome – they get distracted by new, fun things that pop up on their radar and decide they want to do it “right now!” And then of course they come to you with that urgency to do the work and do it quickly. With a client like this you may want to probe a bit further: “We are really focused on A, B, C right now – I’m not clear on why this is important to add to the mix?” Sometimes with a bit of discussion and a gentle reminder of current priorities, you may get to the place where some things don’t need to be done at all or can be shelved for a later date.

The bottom line is this – it’s not only about us. I believe we actually do a disservice to our clients when we say blindly “yes” to everything. Not only do we put ourselves in a situation of taking on too much and potentially starting to drop the ball… we set up unrealistic expectations with our clients who will come to expect you to always be able to “do it all right now.” This isn’t healthy for you or the business.

Ideally, you want to get your clients to a place where they can see and understand the reality of what it takes to get things done, and that they can start to plan their own strategies and needs accordingly. When you both live in reactive “we need to do this now!” mode, that is simply not sustainable and all parties suffer for it.

So let’s say “yes” loud and proud… and on our own terms.

(yes, i’m loving the polls lately…. fun!)

I’m talking any kind of work – even if it’s a super quick “I just want to check email on Sunday night so I don’t get slammed Monday morning” sort of thing. I’m curious how many of us do (or don’t.)

I’m actually fascinated by confidence and the role it plays in our success. On one hand it is the *key* to being hired and paid well for what you do. On the other hand a lack of confidence can actually be a good indicator of what is next for you and your business…

Check out this video for my own journey with confidence and where it is leading me next.

It occured to me today on one of our Future of Virtual Assistance calls that we are actually pioneers as virtual assistants, online business managers and the like.

Having worked in the virtual support industry for over 10 years now I actually forget that what we do, how we work and what we offer is actually VERY cutting edge in the big picture of the world. As I always like to say, my parents still don’t get what I do even after having read my book (as my dad said at a party a few weeks back “I don’t know what Tina does but she makes a great living at it.”)

I graduated from college in 1994 – at that point the internet was in it’s infancy. I don’t think I got my first email address until circa 95, and it was all dial-up baby (remember that sound? brrrrrrrrwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiizzzzbbbbbbbbbpppppppp) If  future Tina had gone back to visit just graduated Tina and said “hey, you’ll be making your living 100% virtual from home, working with super cool entrepreneurs and training others to do the same” I probably would have laughed and said “yea, right… get back to the future there crazy woman.”

And yet I think that most of the people we know in the regular world (aka our non-virtual community) would say the same thing to our faces even here today. Most of my friends work regular jobs – teacher, nurse, corporate rock star – and we rarely if ever talk about work for the simple fact that they don’t understand what I do. Or perhaps i’ve never really tried to explain it properly to them? Hmmm… although I do know my best friend Tara doesn’t want to know – she’s a phys-ed teacher in middle school and neither of us gets what the other one does for a living, LOL!

My point here is this – for those moments when you are feeling frustrated with your business, with finding new clients, connecting with current clients, keeping up with all the technology and all of the ‘not so fun’ stuff that comes along with being a virtual support professional – remember that you are truly a pioneer. This industry – working virtually at all – is so brand new and so foreign to many people that we are blazing the trail here.

And blazing a trail can be hard work at times.

The most common question I get from online business managers and virtual assistants is around how and where to find clients. And as we talk about alot in the OBM Community it can be tough! Because what we do is so new most people don’t understand how we can help them. Say you are an online business manager or a virtual assistant and you might get a blank stare.

It is up to us to EDUCATE business owners on how we can support their business growth, because many of them really don’t understand how we can help. And it is the education piece that I think alot of us forget about and therefore end up feeling frustrated…  when it comes to finding new clients consider yourself an educator first and foremost. Educating someone is blazing the trail.

We are all doing what we do for very specific reasons – for freedom in time, freedom to make more money, freedom to do the things we love to do. In my corporate days I always worked in a support role of some kind, and although I loved the work I hated being “boxed in.”  This is why I love being in the virtual support industry as I get to still do the kind of work I love but on my terms. It’s up to me to become the professional I want to be, up to me to say yes to the opportunities that excite me (and no to those that don’t), up to me to enjoy being a solo-professional or look to build my own virtual support empire if I so choose. We get to make a choice in what we do, and I know that our friends in regular jobs generally don’t have this luxury.

This makes me wonder what our world will be like another 10 years from now. Will working virtually be more the norm? Will my parents finally understand what I do for a living? Will business owners understand when we say “I’m an Online Business Manager.”? That is very appealing of course, but in some ways I like being where we are right now blazing the trail. As they say here in cowboy land (good ole southern Alberta where I live) Giddy-up!

With all the changes in my biz over the past few months I’ve been very purposely letting go of the ‘doing’ – with my awesome team in place (Tiffany and Marki) I’ve actually been able to pull myself out of a lot of the doing stuff that occupied much of my time. They’ve been lovingly slapping my wrist and taking things off my plate. It truly is a delight, I will admit.

What has come as a surprise to me is where my focus is now – on making decisions for my business.

This might sound kind of funny, but I hadn’t really realized before how much time and energy it takes to make a decision. Having spent many years as an Online Business Manager for other business owners, my focus has always been on implementation – someone else decided what the business was all about (made the decision) and I focused on making it come to life (doing).

Now that I have very purposely stepped into the role of being the business owner and creating my business in a different way, I’ve come to realize how tough it can be to make decisions! As I was sharing with a colleague the other day, making decisions can basically be a pain in the you know what.

And yet, this is where the magic happens. Making decisions is all about creativity. It’s about considering what I want, how I can best serve those who need my help – and how to put that together in a way that has the biggest impact possible. It’s where I get to play, explore and create… all the fun stuff that most of us want to be able to frolic in right?

But there are moments where I get stuck in my decisions… I’m not sure if I should do A or B, or maybe there is a plan C that I’m not aware of yet? And that can be SUPER tiring… what I call a toilet flushing moment, going around and around on the same thing and just getting dizzy.

I guess the fear for me comes in around making a ‘wrong decision’ – what if I mess up? What if people don’t like or want what I create? What if it costs a bunch of money and makes nothing? What if I let my family down? What if my colleagues think I’m nuts? What if people point and laugh at me?

Those are the things that I know can stop me, if I let them… and as I read them here they seem a bit silly. I guess it all boils down to being willing to take the risk, which is what entrepreneurs do right?

What stops you from making a decision?

See the thing is, without a decision NOTHING HAPPENS. Not sure why I felt compelled to put that all in caps but it’s true if you think about it. Decisions are the lifeblood of any business – especially a thriving, expanding business that is making an impact on the world. You make a decision, then you and your team can take action on it to bring it to life. That part is actually relatively easy – it’s making the decision that can be tough.

Decision + Action = Impact.

Where are you holding off on making a decision? Being stuck in the limbo of “I’m not sure what to do here” is truly a recipe for insanity. If need be, get some support in place to move through this – someone to talk it through with. I turn to my coach when I get stuck on stuff like this, so he can help me cut through the crap and make the decision.

Oh, and one last thing… if you find yourself defaulting to the ‘doing’ side of things – digging into doing stuff that you feel comfortable and safe in – you might actually be avoiding a decision that needs to be made. Food for thought…

So I’ve spent the past few days racking my brain, trying to come up with my next brilliant ezine article.

And yet here I sit, my brain empty and I still have nothing to say… which is unusual for me. And so I’ve been thinking about all the changes that have been going on in my business lately and wondering if there is something I can share from this journey.

It’s been a SUPER busy 6 months for me… in that time I’ve:

• Joined a high-end mastermind program to get support/guidance re: all the big things I want to do for folks in my market… best thing I’ve done for myself in years.
• Officially let go of my last couple of 1-1 OBM clients, so that I can now fully focus on providing training & support to Online Business Managers and the business owners who need to hire them. This was a toughie in some ways, big shift for me and my business to let go of these clients…
• Been on six – yes six!! – business trips… and have another one at the end of this month. I tell ya, considering that I really prefer not to travel (with 2 small kids at home) this has been quite the stretch for me. All for good reason, but still challenging, too.
• Did another session of the OBM Training & Certification training in February, with a brand new format and an awesome group of ladies.
• Had a bit of a travel snafu re: the OBM Training program that really threw me for a loop… one of those ‘eek! My business could have fallen apart here’ moments if I let it (which I didn’t, but of course!).
• Launched and filled the first ever Online Business Manager Mentorship program, to provide ongoing strategy, support and guidance to an intimate group throughout the year.
• Hosted the Virtually Successful Telesummit with Cindy Greenway, something we have wanted to do for a LONG time.
• Hired my own Online Business Manager Tiffany to join the team and take over the day-to-day stuff.

K, I’m tired just reading this list. And then I have a whole other list of upcoming stuff that I’m working on which is twice as long and oh so fun!

Which actually brings me to the point of this (non)article… which is that I’m tired! I actually had to laugh, I was sharing all of this on a coaching call with David last week re: “here’s what’s going on… what do I do?” And his response “Take a rest Tina, you need a break.”

I was talking to a fellow biz owner about an upcoming project we are collaborating on together, and she said to me “hey Tina, we don’t need to do this right away… take a breather here and let’s plan this for the summer.” My first thought was “really? but I want to do it all NOW!”… then my second thought was AHHHHHHHHH.

So needless to say I have nothing to say because I need a break – if I’m 100% transparent here, I’ve let myself get dangerously close to burn-out and that simply isn’t acceptable.

So I’m taking a breather… officially taking a week off in May, and up until then purposely creating some breathing space throughout my days. As Andrea Lee would say – one of my favorite tidbits from her Wealthy Thought Leader Conference last month – it’s time for some “lemon sorbet for the brain.”

And that’s all I have to say, for now.

Comments, thoughts?